After a long time of willingly distracting myself from my past and forging forward, I have decided it is time to barrel into it.

– 

I was left by my mother at age 2, so my dad took me. My grandparents found bruises on my bum and took custody of me.

 
That’s all fine and dandy, as I don’t remember any of it. But I have gone to therapy, and I know that these events affect who I am today. 
I need to understand it. My grandparents have now left Toronto, and it is time to focus on the life I am building for myself and for them.
I asked my grandma to bring her journals. They catalogue her perspective from the time she took custody of me at 2, until 5. 
The idea in seeking these answers, is to put things into perspective. It is time to heal, and become more well-equipped for my future as an actor.
Please understand, that none of this is about condemning any of the parties involved. My intent is not malicious. I recognize that my mom and dad were too young to have me. I know that they love me, and I have wanted for nothing while being raised by my grandparents. 
This is something that is hard for me to do. I have read just a tiny bit and I can feel her pain through every line.
This is when I break into the serenity prayer.

breath

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

breath

Please pray or put good vibes into the universe for me. I will be reflecting through prose and poetry in the upcoming blogs. Please note the word “reflecting.” Some posts may be specifically related to me, and others will only be inspired by what I find in these journals.
Also, don’t hesitate to comment, or to e mail me personally.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Seeking Answers

    • Thank you for your words! It means so much to me that what I am writing is hitting home with someone.
      I have always studied words as an actor, but recently I have started to see how these art forms bleed into each other. And I’m so happy to share my story.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s